In Massachusetts, a significant grassroots effort is underway to combat loneliness and isolation among LGBTQ+ older adults. OutstandingLife, Inc., a 501(c)(3) non-profit, has emerged as a vital online community, creating connections and fostering well-being across the Commonwealth. David Aronstein, Chairperson of the Board of Directors, shares insights into their impactful work.
“We realized something like this was needed, that it’s an online or virtual community of LGBTQ+ older adults,” David explains, highlighting the organization’s origin at the beginning of the pandemic. In just two years since its portal opened, OutstandingLife has grown to over 500 members. Their approach to age inclusivity is notable: “Our theory is that people think of themselves as old at different points… So, it’s open to anybody.” This inclusive philosophy acknowledges the diverse perspectives on aging within the community.
OutstandingLife offers a rich and varied array of free programs designed to meet the diverse needs of its members.
These include:
- Support Groups: A general support group for LGBTQ+ older adults, a specific group for transgender older adults facilitated by a non-binary Ph.D. psychologist, and groups for griefand caregiving.
- Educational Series: Financial planning sessions and a “Legal Lunch and Learn” series hosted by an elder care lawyer, who titled one session famously “How not to give all your money to a nursing home.”
- Advocacy Hour: Monthly sessions addressing political issues from a non-partisan perspective, featuring guest speakers like Mass Senior Action Council and even Representative Ayanna Pressley, who offered advice on combating feelings of powerlessness.
- Member-Led Programs: A popular monthly “Weather Seminar” led by a meteorologist member, and author readings.
- Wellness Activities: Recently, they’ve launched a bi-weekly chair yoga session.
The virtual nature of OutstandingLife is a deliberate and strategic choice. David points out its benefits: “Even after the isolation of the pandemic, there are lots of folks who have difficulty getting out of the house, who live in areas where there aren’t a lot of services, and they may feel isolated from the LGBTQ+ community themselves.” The free online platform, which resembles a social media site, features calendars, chat functions, member profiles, and even matches individuals with similar interests. “It’s about connecting, learning, and growing as we get older,” David summarizes.
Discussing the current landscape for LGBTQ+ older adults in Massachusetts, David acknowledges the state’s progressive stance while highlighting broader concerns. “While in Massachusetts, we seem to be a fairly safer place, than rest of the country, the LGBTQ+ community is under attack. Particularly they’ve chosen trans issues because they lost on marriage equality.” He notes that within the community itself, older individuals can sometimes feel marginalized, just as older adults might in other communities.
However, one of the significant barriers faced by LGBTQ+ older adults stems from historical prejudice. Individuals in their sixties, seventies, and eighties grew up in a time before the Stonewall Riots and the gay rights movement, enduring McCarthyism and the “pink scare.” This history often leads to reluctance in joining mainstream organizations. David explains, “Because of the way they grew up, LGBTQ+ older folks are often reluctant to join organizations or groups that aren’t LGBTQ+, because they just don’t know how they’re going to be treated.”
To counteract this, OutstandingLife is engaged in a three-year project with Councils on Aging (COAs) and Aging Service Access Points (ASAPs) across Massachusetts, particularly in gateway cities. The goal is to help these centers develop LGBTQ+ specific programming. A key innovation of this project is that COAs can host their programs on the OutstandingLife platform. This offers their constituents access to a broader community of over 500 members and alleviates the need for COAs to develop their own online infrastructure. Furthermore, OutstandingLife provides stipends to LGBTQ+ individuals within these local communities to work with their COAs, ensuring the programming is truly community-driven: “It’s not the organization deciding, ‘This is what they need.’ It’s ‘This is what we need and want.'”
When advising senior centers on becoming more inclusive and welcoming, David offers several key recommendations:
Resources for Councils on Aging to Foster Inclusivity and Welcome
- Be Visibly Inclusive: Go beyond simply stating you are open. “It’s everything from having signs that say that everybody is welcomed and displaying LGBTQ+ symbols prominently in spaces,” David advises. This visible commitment signals a safe space.
- Develop Targeted Programming: Demonstrate genuine welcome by offering programs specifically for LGBTQ+ staff and individuals in your community. This shows active support beyond just an open-door policy.
- Involve the Community in Program Design: Ensure that LGBTQ+ individuals from your community are actively involved in designing the programs. This ensures relevance and genuine appeal. David stresses that having people help design programs “will be part of why it can be successful.”
- Implement Regular Staff Training: Training on LGBTQ+ issues needs to be an ongoing, institutionalized part of staff orientation and in-service training, not a one-time event. David notes, “Because organizations often experience high staff turnover, this training must be permanently integrated into their practices.”
- Prioritize Persistence Over Numbers: Don’t be discouraged by low initial attendance. Even one person connecting can make a profound difference. David shares a powerful anecdote from his time at the Aids Action Committee: “One person showed up and became an active volunteer. You have to count your successes one by one, not just cumulatively.”
- Integrate Inclusivity: Make LGBTQ+ programming an integral part of your overall offerings, rather than a “secret little thing.” Be transparent and public about your commitment to welcoming all.
- Empower Through Connection: Recognize that joining a group can combat feelings of powerlessness, especially when facing broader societal challenges. This applies whether people are writing letters, attending protests, or simply connecting online.
David’s ultimate hope for the future is rooted in the principle of “bodily autonomy.” He highlights the intersectional nature of identity within the LGBTQ+ community, recognizing that individuals hold multiple identities beyond their sexual orientation or gender identity including race and ethnicity, among others. OutstandingLife strives to create a welcoming online home for everyone, regardless of their intersecting identities.
For LGBTQ+ individuals, there’s often a constant, “subliminal vigilance” in the background: “Am I going to be attacked one way or another for being my authentic self?” This question, David explains, is a daily reality for many, making safe, free spaces like OutstandingLife and welcoming Councils on Aging invaluable.
To learn more about OutstandingLife and support their mission, visit their website at www.outstandinglife.org. To explore how your COA can partner with OutstandongLife, please contact Jenn Knight, Director of Marketing and Outreach at jennk@outstandinglife.org
