Jun 25, 2025 | Aging Matters Newsletter, Healthy Aging
In Massachusetts, a significant grassroots effort is underway to combat loneliness and isolation among LGBTQ+ older adults. OutstandingLife, Inc., a 501(c)(3) non-profit, has emerged as a vital online community, creating connections and fostering well-being across the Commonwealth. David Aronstein, Chairperson of the Board of Directors, shares insights into their impactful work.
“We realized something like this was needed, that it’s an online or virtual community of LGBTQ+ older adults,” David explains, highlighting the organization’s origin at the beginning of the pandemic. In just two years since its portal opened, OutstandingLife has grown to over 500 members. Their approach to age inclusivity is notable: “Our theory is that people think of themselves as old at different points… So, it’s open to anybody.” This inclusive philosophy acknowledges the diverse perspectives on aging within the community.
OutstandingLife offers a rich and varied array of free programs designed to meet the diverse needs of its members.
These include:
- Support Groups: A general support group for LGBTQ+ older adults, a specific group for transgender older adults facilitated by a non-binary Ph.D. psychologist, and groups for griefand caregiving.
- Educational Series: Financial planning sessions and a “Legal Lunch and Learn” series hosted by an elder care lawyer, who titled one session famously “How not to give all your money to a nursing home.”
- Advocacy Hour: Monthly sessions addressing political issues from a non-partisan perspective, featuring guest speakers like Mass Senior Action Council and even Representative Ayanna Pressley, who offered advice on combating feelings of powerlessness.
- Member-Led Programs: A popular monthly “Weather Seminar” led by a meteorologist member, and author readings.
- Wellness Activities: Recently, they’ve launched a bi-weekly chair yoga session.
The virtual nature of OutstandingLife is a deliberate and strategic choice. David points out its benefits: “Even after the isolation of the pandemic, there are lots of folks who have difficulty getting out of the house, who live in areas where there aren’t a lot of services, and they may feel isolated from the LGBTQ+ community themselves.” The free online platform, which resembles a social media site, features calendars, chat functions, member profiles, and even matches individuals with similar interests. “It’s about connecting, learning, and growing as we get older,” David summarizes.
Discussing the current landscape for LGBTQ+ older adults in Massachusetts, David acknowledges the state’s progressive stance while highlighting broader concerns. “While in Massachusetts, we seem to be a fairly safer place, than rest of the country, the LGBTQ+ community is under attack. Particularly they’ve chosen trans issues because they lost on marriage equality.” He notes that within the community itself, older individuals can sometimes feel marginalized, just as older adults might in other communities.
However, one of the significant barriers faced by LGBTQ+ older adults stems from historical prejudice. Individuals in their sixties, seventies, and eighties grew up in a time before the Stonewall Riots and the gay rights movement, enduring McCarthyism and the “pink scare.” This history often leads to reluctance in joining mainstream organizations. David explains, “Because of the way they grew up, LGBTQ+ older folks are often reluctant to join organizations or groups that aren’t LGBTQ+, because they just don’t know how they’re going to be treated.”
To counteract this, OutstandingLife is engaged in a three-year project with Councils on Aging (COAs) and Aging Service Access Points (ASAPs) across Massachusetts, particularly in gateway cities. The goal is to help these centers develop LGBTQ+ specific programming. A key innovation of this project is that COAs can host their programs on the OutstandingLife platform. This offers their constituents access to a broader community of over 500 members and alleviates the need for COAs to develop their own online infrastructure. Furthermore, OutstandingLife provides stipends to LGBTQ+ individuals within these local communities to work with their COAs, ensuring the programming is truly community-driven: “It’s not the organization deciding, ‘This is what they need.’ It’s ‘This is what we need and want.'”
When advising senior centers on becoming more inclusive and welcoming, David offers several key recommendations:
Resources for Councils on Aging to Foster Inclusivity and Welcome
- Be Visibly Inclusive: Go beyond simply stating you are open. “It’s everything from having signs that say that everybody is welcomed and displaying LGBTQ+ symbols prominently in spaces,” David advises. This visible commitment signals a safe space.
- Develop Targeted Programming: Demonstrate genuine welcome by offering programs specifically for LGBTQ+ staff and individuals in your community. This shows active support beyond just an open-door policy.
- Involve the Community in Program Design: Ensure that LGBTQ+ individuals from your community are actively involved in designing the programs. This ensures relevance and genuine appeal. David stresses that having people help design programs “will be part of why it can be successful.”
- Implement Regular Staff Training: Training on LGBTQ+ issues needs to be an ongoing, institutionalized part of staff orientation and in-service training, not a one-time event. David notes, “Because organizations often experience high staff turnover, this training must be permanently integrated into their practices.”
- Prioritize Persistence Over Numbers: Don’t be discouraged by low initial attendance. Even one person connecting can make a profound difference. David shares a powerful anecdote from his time at the Aids Action Committee: “One person showed up and became an active volunteer. You have to count your successes one by one, not just cumulatively.”
- Integrate Inclusivity: Make LGBTQ+ programming an integral part of your overall offerings, rather than a “secret little thing.” Be transparent and public about your commitment to welcoming all.
- Empower Through Connection: Recognize that joining a group can combat feelings of powerlessness, especially when facing broader societal challenges. This applies whether people are writing letters, attending protests, or simply connecting online.
David’s ultimate hope for the future is rooted in the principle of “bodily autonomy.” He highlights the intersectional nature of identity within the LGBTQ+ community, recognizing that individuals hold multiple identities beyond their sexual orientation or gender identity including race and ethnicity, among others. OutstandingLife strives to create a welcoming online home for everyone, regardless of their intersecting identities.
For LGBTQ+ individuals, there’s often a constant, “subliminal vigilance” in the background: “Am I going to be attacked one way or another for being my authentic self?” This question, David explains, is a daily reality for many, making safe, free spaces like OutstandingLife and welcoming Councils on Aging invaluable.
To learn more about OutstandingLife and support their mission, visit their website at www.outstandinglife.org. To explore how your COA can partner with OutstandongLife, please contact Jenn Knight, Director of Marketing and Outreach at jennk@outstandinglife.org
Jun 25, 2025 | Aging Matters Newsletter, Healthy Aging
The Bourne Council on Aging (COA), led by Director Debora Oliviere, serves residents aged 60 and above, a threshold tied to critical grant funding that supports many of their vital programs. Since assuming the director role in 2020, just weeks before the COVID-19 pandemic, Debbie has navigated significant changes, including a major flood and a shift in the population they serve.
“In 2024, we finally were getting back to who we were,” Debbie reflects, describing the post-pandemic evolution. She notes a significant shift from “the greatest generation” to a “heavy Boomer generation” utilizing their services, which has necessitated new marketing approaches and program offerings. The COA now provides popular therapeutic offerings like Reiki, drum circles, and chair yoga with sound meditation. Their chair yoga class alone draws around 50 participants twice a week, a testament to the community’s engagement.
Beyond popular classes, the COA offers a wide array of services including a working cafe, a respite program for caregivers, wellness clinics, fitness programs, and an extensive outreach department. This department, as Debbie describes, acts as the “eyes and ears to the community,” assisting with everything from SNAP applications and housing concerns to navigating complex benefits.
A key focus for the Bourne COA has been fostering inclusivity, particularly for the LGBTQ+ community. “When I first started here, we didn’t have really any LGBTQ+ type of programming. In 2022, we made it a focus,” Debbie states. Their approach began with community roundtables, seeking direct feedback on what services and programs were desired. Debbie understood the specific needs of this community, noting, “This was a generation where individuals weren’t permitted to marry or openly raise children, leading many to age in isolation after their partners passed away. This history often meant they had specific needs and might not have felt welcome in municipal settings.” This understanding drove their commitment to change.
They started with a movie night, partnering with a neighboring town, Sandwich, to screen “Gen Silent,” a film about LGBTQ+ aging. Building on this, they’ve gradually developed a core group of 10-13 regular attendees for quarterly events, including their annual Pride luncheon.
Their initial efforts, like placing rainbow stickers on office doors and in the cafe, met with some resistance. “After a couple of months, we had some pushback, and it was really upsetting, very distressing,” Debbie recounts. One individual aggressively removed stickers and challenged staff. Debbie’s response was resolute: “For us, that sticker simply means, ‘Everyone is welcome here, no exceptions.’ It’s a universal message of inclusivity.” Despite the challenges, the COA persisted.
Debbie often shares a powerful personal anecdote to explain the vital importance of this work to those who question it. She recalls a time when a caregiver for an individual in their day program identified his partner as his “brother.” Debbie was unaware of their true relationship until the bus driver casually referred to him as his “partner.” Debbie reflects, “I felt awful that they didn’t feel comfortable enough to clue me in on that.” The profound impact came later: when the partner passed away, the surviving individual had to “go back in the closet” upon entering assisted living. Debbie emphatically states, “And that’s why we do this work.” She adds, “It’s the right human thing to do. This is a community that was marginalized for years and continues to be. And that’s why it’s important.”
While there have been political challenges and a climate of fear impacting many seeking assistance, Debbie notes that attendance at their inclusive programs has remained steady, with a core group appreciating the community and support.
Here are key takeaways for other Councils on Aging from Bourne’s experience:
Tips for Councils on Aging to Foster Inclusivity and Welcome
- Seek Community Feedback Actively: Don’t assume you know what a specific community needs. Start by engaging them in discussions to understand their desires and challenges.As Debbie advises, “You need community feedback, because every community is a little different.”
- Partner with Local Stakeholders: Identify individuals and organizations within the community who can help you understand, promote, and sustain inclusive programming. Debbie stresses, “You need stakeholders. You need people that are going to help you move this forward.”
- Be Visible and Unapologetic in Your Welcome: Displaying inclusive symbols like rainbow stickers clearly communicates your stance. Be prepar
ed forpotential pushback, and have a clear, principled response ready. Debbie’s firm stance was: “We made it clear that we would not be swayed by discriminatory views, as the Council on Aging is fully within its rights and mission to provide these programs.”
- Start Slowly and Be Persistent: Building trust and engagement takes time. Begin with a few well-chosen programs and consistently offer them. Debbie describes their process: “We started off with a movie and got some more feedback from folks.”
- Leverage Personal Stories to Educate: Powerful personal narratives can effectively communicate the importance of inclusive work to those who don’t understandor are resistant. Debbie’s story of the couple who felt unable to be open truly transformed a critic: “I have no response. I have no rebuttal to that.”
- Network with Other COAs and Groups: Share resources, ideas, and even attendees with other Councils on Aging and community groupsalreadydoing this work. Debbie mentions, “We actively collaborate with the Yarmouth group, sending them our program information and receiving theirs in return.”
- Champion the Fundamental Human Right to Belong: Frame inclusivity not just as a program, but as a core value. As Debbie profoundly states, “We all deserve to age in place successfully. Everyone should feel welcome, and no one should be excluded as we go through the aging process.”
Bourne’s journey illustrates that while establishing an inclusive environment may face obstacles, the dedication to creating a safe and welcoming space for all members of the community is a deeply impactful and ultimately successful endeavor.
Jun 25, 2025 | Aging Matters Newsletter, Healthy Aging
Arlington, Massachusetts, stands out as a community deeply committed to supporting its older residents, with nearly 30% of its population over age 60. At the heart of this commitment is the Arlington Council on Aging (COA), led by Executive Director Kristine Shah, and supported by a dedicated team including Social Worker Marci Shapiro Ide, LICSW. Since reopening its renovated center in 2022, the COA has seen a dramatic increase in engagement, more than doubling the number of people it serves.
“Our days are very unpredictable sometimes here, you never know what’s going happen,” Kristine shares, describing the dynamic nature of their work. From facilitating yoga classes to addressing housing crises, the Arlington COA team navigates a broad spectrum of needs, always striving to help as many people as possible.
Marci Shapiro Ide, LICSW, a social worker at the Arlington COA, brings a unique background to her role. After years in philanthropy and even the state prison system, Marci sought a more direct connection with people. Her journey into supporting older adults, particularly within the LGBTQ+ community, was serendipitous. Recalling her initial foray into LGBTQ+ programming, Marci describes attending the LGBTQ+ aging conference: “It was the most amazing conference. I actually went 2 years in a row… how would you not love a conference where a drag queen greets you at the door?” This experience sparked a determination to bring similar inclusivity to Arlington.
A pivotal step was undertaking the “Open Door” training in 2013, offered by the LGBTQ+ Aging Project, which educated all COA staff, local clergy, and other non-profit professionals. A core outcome of this training was the development of a comprehensive welcome statement. This statement, which is still prominently featured in their newsletter and throughout the center, Kristine notes, “really speaks to how we value everybody in the community.” It serves as a visible and enduring symbol of the COA’s commitment, going beyond simple gestures like a rainbow sticker.
Initial LGBTQ+ specific programming, such as movie nights, took time to gain traction. “A lot of it didn’t work, or I would say attendance was very low,” Marci admits. However, persistent efforts, like partnering with the library for an off-site movie series and hosting the intergenerational “Sage Table” meals, gradually built a stronger sense of community. Marci also recalls that identifying the LGBTQ+ community as an underserved population around 2012 by the National Council on Aging (NCOA) was crucial. She explains, “obviously, it’s not a great thing to be identified as underserved, but it provides more guidance and weight when you’re developing programs.” This recognition enabled the COA to secure funding and further legitimize their inclusive initiatives. The virtual shift during the COVID-19 pandemic, surprisingly, led to a “huge spike” in participation for their LGBTQ+ online groups, with up to 20 people attending weekly. This underscored the profound need for connection.
Over the past decade, Arlington has seen a notable shift in attitudes. Kristine observes that non-LGBTQ+ individuals are becoming more comfortable attending programs that haveLGBTQ+ themes, like a movie about Abraham Lincoln’s relationships. “I think people were afraid to come to that type of a movie 12 years ago, it was a, ‘I don’t want to be in that room with people who might think that I’m watching it because I’m gay.'” This growing comfort has fostered a more integrated environment where affinity groups remain valuable but individuals also feel secure joining any class or activity.
Marci highlights that despite Arlington’s generally inclusive nature, some barriers for LGBTQ+ individuals persist, often stemming from historical societal pressures. Many older LGBTQ+ adults may have aged without a legal spouse or children, leading to limited support networks for critical needs like caregiving or designating a healthcare proxy. “There’s a lot of LGBT older adults who have been unmarried or single, and don’t have the support of a partner as they age and all of their friends are similar ages also dealing with age related health issues.” She further elaborates on the challenges when trying to identify support systems for these individuals: “ Financially, I’ve seen that it varies and there are many people for whom finances are not an issue. Many LBGTQ+ individuals can pay for the care they need as long as they know where to get it.” This emphasizes the crucial role COAs play in providing connection and resources.
When asked how other centers can replicate Arlington’s success, Marci points to ongoing collaboration and shared learning. She recommends the monthly programming meetings hosted by the LGBTQ+ Aging Project, a resource advertised by the Massachusetts Councils on Aging (MCOA). She also champions the concept of an inclusive welcome statement and a gradual, consistent approach to integrating LGBTQ+ affirming activities. Marci adds a practical tip based on her experience: “I started partnering with the library. And we did a movie series. And that was one of my most popular programs.” This strategy of leveraging existing community resources for outreach proved highly effective.
Here are key takeaways for other Councils on Aging:
Top Strategies for Councils on Aging to Foster Inclusivity and Welcome
- Develop and Prominently Display a Welcome Statement: Craft a statement that clearly articulates your COA’s commitment to valuing every community member, regardless of identity. Post it in your facility and include it regularly in your communications. Kristine shares that this statement “really speaks to how we value everybody in the community.”
- Utilize Training and Educational Resources: Engage with programs like the “Open Door” training from the LGBTQ+ Aging Project. Educating staff and the broader community is fundamental.
- Start Slowly and Build Momentum: Begin with one or two targeted programs and assess what resonates. Initial attendance may be low, but consistency and thoughtful outreach will build trust and participation over time. Kristine noted, “It just took time to build it.”
- Partner with Community Organizations: Collaborating with local libraries, LGBTQ+ organizations, or even high school GSAs (Gay-Straight Alliances) can expand your reach and offer diverse programming. Marci highlights that her collaboration with the library for movie series “was one of my most popular programs.”
- Leverage Recognition of Underserved Populations: If a community is identified as underserved, like the LGBTQ+ community was by NCOA, use that recognition to advocate for and secure funding for specific programming. Marci explains, “It gives a lot of weight when you’re developing programs.”
- Integrate, Don’t Segregate: While affinity groups have value, strive to integrate LGBTQ+ content and inclusivity into mainstream programming. This normalizes acceptance and broadens participation. Kristine observes, “We’re seeing people feel much more included, saying things like, ‘I can come to this movie,’ and ‘I can go to the yoga class,’ without the need for a separate LGBTQ+ mindfulness class as long as there still time and space for affinity groups.“
- Embrace and Highlight Inclusivity in All Communications: Clearly state that events are open to “LGBTQ+ individuals and friends” to signal a welcoming environment for allies and family members. Kristine explains this approach: “Once people realized that LGBTQ+ seniors and their friends are hosting a party everybody’s welcome to come.”
Arlington’s journey exemplifies how dedication, strategic programming, and a genuine commitment to welcoming all members can transform a Council on Aging into a vibrant, inclusive hub, fostering essential connections and combating isolation for everyone in the community.
